adopting mentors

Well, with the rise of identity defined almost solely through race, ethnicity, or gender, I think we’ve forgotten the identity that speaks when one is speaking to oneself. That is to say, one is more conscious of those things—class, race, age, sex—when one is in the presence of others. It’s the difference principle that makes you consciously say, I am black and you are white; I am old and you are young; I am a woman and you are a man. But when you’re by yourself you don’t need so powerfully to assert any one of those identities; when you speak to yourself, you rarely say, I, as a woman, am saying this to myself, or, I, as a sixty year old, am saying this to myself. You tend merely to say, I am saying this to myself, because in the absence of others you can be yourself without external reference. 

If you spend too much time trying to find out what is good or bad about someone else, you'll forget your own soul and end up exhausted and defeated by the energy you have wasted in judging others.

How to recognise the inner critic - It turns out we can recognize this voice as the inner critic…by picking up on a few clues >

• It is making a definite pronouncement, with very little evidence to back it up. It's interested in "the way things are." (This is always a red flag!)

• It's undertaking a premature evaluation of the question "Is it possible, or not?" rather than wondering, "What could be possible?" or, even better, "How can I make this possible?" 

• It's stuck, repetitive. No real action is inspired by it. 

• The energy behind the mental chatter is one of self-critique rather than self-care. 

• The intention is shutting down forward movement, rather than opening up problem solving. There's no searching for solutions or good ideas.

Fear makes us lose our awareness. It can make us cowards as well.

We believe what we want to believe. 

Except our own thoughts, there is nothing absolutely in our power.